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3.40pm: Southend are now two up at Plymouth, with Paul Sturrock enjoying his return to a ground where many fans will always consider him something of a hero.

3.36pm: Cissé is fouled, rather nastily, by Roger Johnson. He jumps up, pushes Johnson in the shoulder a little bit, and then grabs him by the neck, quite nastily. Johnson is booked, Cissé goes. A slightly harsh red, but there was some violent conduct there and Cissé should surely have grown up by now.

3.34pm: Djibril Cissé has been sent off!

3.32pm: "I saw Niklas Bendtner interviewed on Danish TV last night," writes Patrick Cullen, "where he was asked about his prospects of getting back in the Sunderland team when he returns from injury, what with them performing so well at the moment. He replied quite sportingly that he was just pleased with the team’s current success, and especially with that of his good friend in attack who had just come back from a long-term injury. He then spoiled the impression somewhat by calling said good friend ’DJ’." Maybe that’s Fraizer Campbell’s actual nickname. Or is there another player who has also just come back from injury? Still, it’s nice to hear that Niklas has friends, which is a first, I think.

3.28pm: Ooooh! Good snowfall at Stoke right now. But it’s not raining goals, sadly, though Ipswich have taken the lead at rock-bottom Championship whipping boys Coventry in what’s actually quite a big game. Probably snowing there too, I’d wager.

3.25pm: And the winner is Reuben Vandercruyssen, with former Charlton, Spurs, West Ham and Fulham "ace" Paul Konchesky. Honourable mentions to Edward Chukwurah, Niam Suggitt, Ian Wickens and Pierre Gauthier, who all got the right answer, but not as quickly.

3.21pm: Alistair Elder is not correct with either Jason Euell or Chris Powell. But he’s close.

3.19pm: Incorrect answers so far include: Clive Allen, Martin Allen, Paul Allen, Jimmy Greaves, Yossi Benayoun, Ray Wilkins, Terry Venables, Ben Thatcher and Reggie ’the cockle’ Bow-Bells Stabbings. Keep ’em coming.

3.18pm: To all quiz question respondents: we’re talking Premier League only. Football didn’t exist before 1992.

3.17pm: Gary Naylor’s emailed about pundits. "The vast majority of players say that they are ’not good watchers of the game’ so why, on retirement, do we expect them to be transformed into erudite sages, explaining the game to those of us who are good watchers and have been for a lifetime?" he asks. "The wonder is not that some ex-players make halfway decent pundits, but that any of them do."

3.17pm: GOAL! QPR 1 Wolves 0! Zamora has scored! Take that, Tony Campisi!

3.15pm: "When the ball hits the head of a man on row Z, that’s Zamora," gleefully trills Tony Campisi in LA. "Clint [Dempsey] has scored twice as many goals as Bobby at Fulham from the midfield. Sparky better rely on Cissé for net shaking." a) Yes, he probably is; b) Americans should be banned from emailing about Clint Dempsey, surely.

3.12pm: "One of them has got to be Scott Parker," says Tom Wilson in reply to my quiz question (3.07pm). It does indeed, Tom. One to go.

3.11pm: West Brom are currently winning the snowfall of the day award, though Stoke seem to have had a decent dusting.

3.08pm: In League Two’s match of the day, Plymouth have conceded a first-minute goal to Southend, for whom Michael Timlin is the grateful goalscorer.

3.07pm: Quiz question of the day: Bobby Zamora has become the third player to play for four London clubs in the Premier League, by turning out for QPR against Wolves today. Name the other two.

3.05pm: "Quite right about ’Lawro’. When are national tv going to realise that former players usually make poor pundits?" asks Peter Stebbings. "Martin Keown’s ’insight’ on BBC: ’Blackburn have not been at the races.’" I’m not sure that all ex-players are terrible – indeed, Gary Neville’s doing just fine for Sky – but I do think that the BBC’s team very badly needs a very major facelift.

3pm: Peeeeep! It’s kick-off time!

2.57pm: And Arsenal are now fifth. I doff my cap to you, Mark Lawrenson.

2.56pm: Thierry Henry scores for Arsenal in the third and final minute of stoppage time to make it Arsenal 7 Blackburn 1. Not a beautiful goal, Grant Hanley giving the ball away and Scott Dann deflecting the ball into the net. And the final whistle goes, seconds later.

2.53pm: And the last Premier League team sheet, with Steven Pienaar skipping his way straight back into Everton’s first team.
Wigan: Al Habsi, Stam, Boyce, Caldwell, Figueroa, Beausejour, McCarthy, McArthur, Gomez, Moses, Di Santo. Subs: Pollitt, Alcaraz, Crusat, Watson, Jones, Rodallega, Diamé.
Everton: Howard, Hibbert, Heitinga, Distin, Baines, Pienaar,
Fellaini, Gibson, Donovan, Cahill, Stracqualursi. Subs: Mucha, Jelavic, Drenthe, Neville, Gueye, Anichebe, Duffy.
Referee: Anthony Taylor (Cheshire).

2.51pm: "O’Neill is looking after Fraizer Campbell’s knee," point-of-informations Chas Marshall. "Expect him to appear in the second half and use his pace against the Stoke defence when the game starts to open up. Meanwhile Sunderland will play 4-2-3-1 with Gardner closest to Sessegnon up front. Sunderland 2-0 and the O’Neil revolution rolls on." OK then, I’ll get on the phone to the bookies.

2.49pm: Some more teams. Norwich drop Steve Morison and bring in Adam Drury, Simeon Jackson, Anthony Pilkington and David Fox.
Norwich: Ruddy, Naughton, Whitbread, Ayala, Drury, Fox, Pilkington, Surman, Hoolahan, Holt, Jackson. Subs: Steer, Martin, Johnson, Morison, Crofts, Bennett, Wilbraham.
Bolton: Bogdan, Mears, Wheater, Knight, Ricketts, Eagles, Muamba, Reo-Coker, Petrov, Mark Davies, Ngog. Subs: Jaaskelainen, Sanli, Kevin Davies, Klasnic, Pratley, Boyata, Sordell.
Referee: Lee Probert (Wiltshire).

2.46pm: I too am watching the Arsenal game, on a slightly dodgy internet feed, where the co-commentator has just criticised the official attendance figure, given the number of empty seats. "I believe that figure may or may not be correct," he alleges. Yes, I believe so too.

2.45pm: JR in Illinois has emailed to complain about the decision to show Wigan v Everton on TV Sateside. "At least I’m getting to see the early game," he writes. "Arsenal is on Blackburn like a duck on a junebug." I genuinely have no idea what that means.

2.35pm: Matthew Etherington is ill, which is why he’s not in Stoke’s squad. Wilson Palacios is also nowhere to be seen. Fraizer Campbell’s reward for his stonking midweek goal for Sunderland is a demotion to the bench. Is there no justice?

2.33pm: Jon Moss has shown nine red cards in 21 matches officiated this summer. By way of comparison, Mark Halsey hasn’t shown any yet in 19 matches, and Mike Dean has shown one in 26. He’s the nastiest of all top-flight officials. And he played drums for Culture Club.
West Brom: Foster, Reid, McAuley, Olsson, Shorey, Morrison, Dorrans, Mulumbu, Thomas, Fortune, Odemwingie. Subs: Fulop, Tchoyi, Ridgewell, Andrews, Jones, Cox, Scharner.
Swansea: Vorm, Rangel, Williams, Caulker, Taylor, Britton, Allen, Sigurdsson, Dyer, Graham, Sinclair. Subs: Tremmel, Routledge, Monk, McEachran, Lita, Moore, Agustien.
Referee: Jon Moss (W Yorkshire).

2.29pm: As Thierry Henry replaces the still-impressive Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain in London, the team sheets continute to pour in:
Stoke: Sorensen, Wilkinson, Shawcross, Huth, Wilson, Pennant, Whelan, Delap, Walters, Jerome, Crouch. Subs: Begovic, Jones, Fuller, Diao, Whitehead, Shotton, Woodgate.
Sunderland: Mignolet, Bardsley, O’Shea, Turner, Richardson, Larsson, Gardner, Meyler, Colback, McClean, Sessegnon. Subs: Westwood, Bridge, Campbell, Wickham, Ji, Kyrgiakos, Elmohamady.
Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire)

2.28pm: Some team news, then, and QPR give their new-look Cissé-Zamora front two a first run-out against Wolves:
QPR: Kenny, Young, Onuoha, Ferdinand, Taiwo, Taarabt, Derry, Barton, Wright-Phillips, Cissé, Zamora. Subs: Cerny, Hill, Hall, Mackie, Traore, Hulse, Smith.
Wolverhampton: Hennessey, Stearman, Johnson, Bassong, Ward, Foley, Frimpong, Edwards, O’Hara, Jarvis, Fletcher. Subs: De Vries, Elokobi, Ebanks-Blake, Hunt, Berra, Milijas, Doyle.
Referee: Mark Clattenburg (Tyne & Wear).

2.18pm: 55 minutes gone at the Emirates, where Arsenal are 5-1 up against 10-man Blackburn. And Pat Rice is wearing a very fetching pair of shades.

Welcome world! Here follows all of today’s big 3pm kick-offs. There aren’t many of them, so you might as well have the lot.

Highlights outside the Premier League (because obviously all five top-flight matches are highlights) include Cardiff City v Blackpool, managerless Leeds heading to Bristol City and Huddersfield’s match against MK Dons, second against fifth in League One. Match of the day in League Two is something of a foregone conclusion.

Interesting moment of the day so far: Mark Lawrenson discussing Arsenal on Football Focus. "Where are they in the league, fifth? Fourth?" he asked. Arsenal are seventh in the league, as any fool know. Sure, they’ve been fourth or fifth for most of the last couple of months, but they’ve had a very up and down season, as they say in the trade, and I must say I expect my national-television pundits to look at the league table every now and then. Am I wrong? Alan Shearer, by comparison something of a student of the game, swiftly put him right.

Song of the day: This. Because it’s almost certainly too long since you last heard a famous movie theme covered by a Balcan brass band. If you quite like that but aren’t totally convinced, try this. It’s an oldie but a goodie.

Premier League

Wigan Athletic v Everton
West Bromwich v Swansea City
Norwich City v Bolton Wanderers
QPR v Wolverhampton Wanderers
Stoke City v Sunderland

Championship

Watford v Barnsley
Coventry City v Ipswich Town
Middlesbrough v Crystal Palace
Bristol City v Leeds United
Brighton & Hove Albion v Leicester City
Burnley v Peterborough
Cardiff City v Blackpool

League One

Wycombe v Tranmere
Huddersfield v MK Dons
Carlisle v Chesterfield
Sheffield Wednesday v Yeovil Town

League Two

Plymouth Argyle v Southend

Scottish Cup

Motherwell v Morton
Aberdeen v Queen of the South
St Mirren v Ross County
Hibernian v Kilmarnock